#160

What has been going around here? How have things been? Burning questions, questions of weight, to be handled with grace.

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There is a dogshit situation all around our little corner of the neighborhood; my neighbors have a thick, listless Labrador and they let it out without a leash so it can squat wherever it pleases. No one seems able to do anything about this issue. All attendant and pertinent forces seem to have firmly flowed into the "act as though there is no problem" channels of influence.

My own force is certainly at home in this. I just skirt the area of effect when I go to smoke by the creek or walk the dog whose shits I diligently pick up, as per the social contract.

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After about eight months of walking to and fro from work I have finally seen cause to cut down and try taking the bus a few times a week. Restless and unreliable sleep, combined with an increased workload and the steady wear of mixed opens, closes, and a weekly clopen, means that ten miles on top of a shift is pushing it too far.

Not smoking cigarettes would be doing myself a favor, also. Bracing for it.

Walked like three thousand miles from September to today. Probably okay to cut down a little bit.

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Everything very big into blooming right now. So many baby leaf clusters and new flowers everywhere. Grass getting lush and vibrant. A special time.

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This morning I took a short break from reading Kierkegaard to read Black Mass by Patrick Kyle. As excellent a thing made about punk as I ever hope to see.

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Attempting to think more and overthink less, to coordinate my head and my heart into a harmony rather than competing solo acts. Trying to keep getting better at when to talk and when to shut up. Making efforts towards taking care of the people around me and balancing that with protecting myself.

Paying attention to these things reveals to me just how often I fail. So it goes. Shake self off, climb on horse.

You cut your fingers enough, you get extremely good at coaxing your flesh into knitting back together.

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Things feel like they might be getting a little easier. Well, we will just see, won't we?


--JL