#421

It bears saying every now and again, lest I seem forgetful or inured: this wartime shit hurts my heart. All this war everywhere and more to come, and the pain of it is in every single day. It is terrible watching hatred consume people and the havoc of retribution. 

Man, I hate that people have to suffer and die on this nonsensical, farcical, line-in-the-sand, get-me-mine-and-fuck-you bullshit. Hate the vile vibration that possesses them to strike out rather than seek peace.

But I guess they have to. I guess we have to. 

Human is as human does.

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Dunno. Fuckin read a lot of history, fuckin lotta war and hate and anti-semitism every other thread of ghastly twisted ever-unspooling racism and genocide and conquest and theft and punishment and torture and every kind of sexual violence imaginable plus the dark everyday shit and the serial killers and the negligence of every kind which can even lead to stuff like mass poisonings and preventable catastrophes and finally, the rape and strangulation of the natural world, which continues apace. 

What the fuck, people? I am beginning to doubt a few sculptures and some sheet music were worth the trouble!

No, I must imagine that the good and happy times that people have managed to have in spite of the great machinations of rulers and the bloody paths that history must carve, despite the appetites of the wicked and insatiable and harmed, are in a balance. That process, awful as it is, creates the space for a more refined process.

Given time. Time always seems short. Must remember that.

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Primacy must be established always! Primates! We are primates! 

Disgusting.

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Per yesterday's quest: found a table, but not a card table. It cost money, and there was only the one. So! Nobody has to do anything. Nobody ever did, really.

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Ok. Gotta do a lotta stuff, man. Gotta clean things and fix things and make more art. Making more art is very very important to me right now. 

Coping mechanisms, eh?

--JL