#270

Felt like something special might happen for this post, and when thinking about what it might be, it struck that announcing that I had recorded an album might be nice. So I laid down about 32 minutes of track in eight sections using GarageBand, named it scratch clock valley, and that was that. Working on getting it on some form of service that is linkable and functional to whomsoever might be interested. Right now it's on my own Apple Music, and nowhere else. Maybe I'll figure out how to put album art on it. Maybe I'll be able to fix the track order. Maybe it can be on the service for people to download, or I can figure out how to make a Soundcloud. But if I can't do these things, it really doesn't matter.

Here's a tracklist, just because I'm happy with the names I assigned to these simple tunes, and the aesthetics of a tracklist are extremely important to me:

1. wobbly master ghost punch grief combo

2. exuberant penitence phantasmagoria

3. toughest part of the skull

4. matchstick pick

5. soft moss dissolution

6. heedless spiller

7. Buteo Tenken #7

8. "bonus track"

*

So! Down to the meat of it. 

Today I went to a Kroger with my husband and was violently reminded that I am so antisocial without the orthotic of cigarettes that I have actual fight responses to everyone I see sometimes, which is why I try not to leave the house except to walk extremely fast. The mask thing with covid has made it all even worse. I comply with mask stuff, but I hate to, and I hate the masks. I feel like everyone is waiting for the right moment to assault me, and why wouldn't they. This is anxiety I am familiar with from pre-masks, but so acute with them that I am having trouble maintaining self-control.

Consciously, I know that rare is the individual that would fuck with me at all. Nothing ever happens. My muscular armor and spiritual pressure are extremely powerful, as is my eye contact. I just absolutely fucking loathe being perceived. 

Ok peace if you stay the fuck outta my face

--JL