#65

Earlier, I fell asleep. Now, further sleep seems a challenge. All my life, I have avoided naps--nothing but trouble! Growing up I found institutionally-mandated nap times a razor-sharp variety of tyranny. I have ever scorned the nap, and taken vain pride in my wakefulness and verve. Now they begin their long revenge. Can't keep my eyes open after a walk, a shift, a walk, and a meal. It's okay if it's not too long, but I slept from about four to eight. Not cool.

*

I used to live about a quarter mile from a gas station and a liquor store. I was on my own and having all sorts of bad relations, dropped out of college, nuthin' job, and in constant spiritual, philosophical, psychosexual, financial, and emotional crisis. I felt ancient and overpowered, like I'd seen too much shit to stomach anymore--a thousand lifetimes of the same gray anarchy--and like I could rip a stone pillar out of a concrete foundation and fling it like a javelin. A young man, newly minting his twenties.

Bought a lot of cigarettes at that gas station. Walked over lots of times, once a day at least, you know. The last cigarette I paid for I rolled myself, early last summer. I gotta be better about not bumming any more. Tobacco is some fucked up shit.

*

Just now I finished reading Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston. It was exceedingly tremendous. Before that I had reread Bleach from the first to the last, for I had completed my collection of all seventy-four volumes. That was good as hell. Before that I reread Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain. Those are some of my favorite books ever. I'll tell you what I've decided to read next tomorrow.

The full moon two mornings ago--that was fucking excellent. Hey! Read my books?


--JL