#60

Ergonomic graphics in crisp full-spectrum color displays at unheard-of resolutions. Unflagging aural stimulation in ultrapersonal suite determined by algorithm and decision-tracking.

Now me, I like a nice, comforting monochrome. Perhaps some deep greens and sober tans. The humbler shades of blue. 

When I first had a "smart"phone, it was like having a scab. I'm a scab-picker. The iphone was a psychic scab, designed just so by its wicked artificers, and I constantly took it out in order to pick at the surface of my brain, exposing a raw wound into which the device sprays spores that burrow deep into the cortex, where its wretched payload blooms into your synapses. I went mad and crashed into a kind of informational and para-emotional rock-bottom, and used various burner dumbphones for a year and a half. 

Now that circumstances have forced me back onto the glass nipple, I keep that shit on grayscale. No apps. It's an iPod that makes work calls. If peer-pressured, I will google something. I handle its glistening contours, even locked in a lifeproof case, like something razor-sharp and dripping with poison, designed by an oppressor to keep me mentally neutered and give me actual cancer, because that is what it fucking is.

Also, and I realize for some reason this makes me sound like a tinfoil weirdo, but don't we have enough shit interfering with our systems without making our very headphones radiators and emitters a centimeter away from our brains at all times? The physicality of cables may be irksome, but damn. 

"Fuck it," we'll say. "Bury a chip-sized satellite transceiver branded with the logo of your choice right at the base of the nervous system. Get right in the deep meat. We are sick of using our ears to listen to EDM twenty-four hours a day and our eyes to unceasingly digest propaganda. 

Put that shit on autopilot. I want to eat, and shit, and binge-watch, and the rest is on Twitter."


--JL