This time around, I am preloading some of next time's bitterness, knowing that I will forget these key learnings in time and let my pride grow out of control once more. It is human nature, and for all my rebellion, all my aspiration to better, ecce homo. There is no escape but death.
*
Thee following are my own personal truths that should always be rolling around in my pocket, waiting to be grasped whenever and always. To repeat myself, that I ever let them go is a testament to my ability to let myself down consistently and with aplomb.
- the illusion of control brings only needless pain
- the illusion of knowledge brings only false pride
- the illusions of good and evil are the foundations of hell upon this earth
- beyond good and evil, beyond knowledge, is the infinite universe, which is the only truth, and it is meaningless.
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There is no point where one has suffered enough. There is no point where one has learned enough. There is no enough, no progress, no goal. There are no points at all. No point in, to, or about anything whatever.
Only the infinite.
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I point you to the unbelievable weight of the time that has passed and all that it was witnessed, more than even the absurdly overclocked little meat computers thrumming beneath our dura mater could ever properly conceive of or hold or process. Then, to the infinitely larger and infinitely the same amount of time that has yet to transpire, which could be so large as to crush our time multiplied by itself, rendering ten trillion years a paper-thin layer at the base of ten million layers that composes one layer of a sedimentary strata that is the visualization of part of a section of a moment in infinite time.
And it could all repeat infinitely, even though it never ends.
*
It's all a joke, and all the time you are forgetting to laugh, it is on you.
--JL
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