#451

Yeah well guess what, I couldn't type for however the fuck long it's been since last post because my office became such a critical disaster of book mess all over and stuff for art and pieces in various states of transition and completion all over the fuckin place that I could not pick a path to the desk. It was not worth the trouble, and often, literally impossible.

Painting has taken precedence over everything else in my life anyway, the locus of all my directed energies. Sketching, speed-cartooning, mixed-media with garbage and oddments, collage, but most of all, just painting--on cardboard and salvaged pieces of wood, mostly. Hasn't felt this good or natural to be painting since I was a child. If a day contains the potential for plans or the attendance of duties, you can bet I have by and large ignored all that and spent as much of it as possible painting instead.

The last couple of days, though, I have been itching to write, as is also fundamental to my being--but I finally realize, perhaps to the detriment of the rest of my artistic impulses and needs. It is just as important to paint and draw and sing and whistle and play musical instruments. It is all as necessary to my writing and my writing is to me, and my writing feeds these things back in its turn. It is true! Must remember it. Must act on that knowledge and ply its power into my foundations and decisions.

*

Absolutely gotta remedy the office situation both for my mental health and the physical health of my books, as well as to accomodate all the art I have to store now and the need to have the materials in better organization. Found a piece of furniture on the sidewalk perfect for storing scraps and sheets and bits in, it's like an old wooden mailbox or in-tray for offices or libraries or whatever. 

On that note, short post, must do something with the office before the cutoff imposed by having to get ready for work. It's cool. It's chill. I'll be around more often. 

Got lots of ideas.

--JL

#450

Well, hello 450. That's cool. 500 this year; it'll happen. 

*

The depression has once again floated in, seemingly on a heavy wind. Many around me are also affected by this transparent miasma. A contradiction in terms, but this is apt, as a contradiction in terms is how I feel, in body and mind. 

Rewatched Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children to help myself feel better. It was alright as it was happening, but its wake brought no true relief. Still, it took me outside of myself and lightened my load, as a good movie does.

*

What mighty revelation could I unsheathe for the four hundred and fiftiefth post? What truth could I rip from the living earth of my consciousness and the lightless depths beneath, where the big whales are? 

Shit, man. Wish I could. Have a list of albums I've listened to recently. Liked all of them a lot.

Lean Year, Lean Year

I Am: Rogue VHS, Rogue VHS

Neoteric and Teenage Crimes, Slvmber

Flight of the Ancients, The Shaolin Afronauts

empathogen, WILLOW

Logozo, Angélique Kido

Love Heart Cheat Code, Hiatus Kaiyote

No Accomodation for Lagos, Tony Allen & Africa 70

Second Time Round, Cymande

Chapter 2, Joe Gibbs and the Professionals

En Yay Sah, Janka Nabay & the Bubu Gang

Revolution, Little Steven

Songs From Moonlit Lake, Daniel Olsèn

Spiral Bound, Rebecca Sugar

No Summer No Cry, Slime Girls

*

Plus, of course, all the little odds and bits you hear when your friend plays records in his living room or the car, the interrupted albums and the standalone songs one checks out, stuff playing at work, etc, etc, the ears are always open and the world's noise is a song of itself.

*

Haven't been reading, as on top of the movies, I've been playing lots of video games. The screen time helps me acclimate to the new schedule, but eventually I will shut the screens off altogether and go on an absolute book tear. The juices are rising. But it'll be movies and games for awhile yet, plus when Ezra and I are done with Voyager, we can hopefully go into a phase of watching movies together, which will cut my personal load. 

Don't feel like reporting exhaustively on the video games. Nothing new except this great little game Minit, which I bagged for like 93 cents after applying accrued credit. It's real fun. How expansive a minute can be! How it reminds you what preciously short units of time playing a game expands and fills to bursting! A testament and a love letter to the form. It is also very funny.

*

Okaaaaay 

whaaateverrrrrr

Peace

--JL

#449

Watched a lot of movies since the incident of which I will speak no further till the chickens come home to roost. 

Yeah, I said I was busy, and when you see how many movies I'm about to write down, you'll be all "what the fuck, dude. Is this what you call busy?"

Yes, actually. Watching a movie or a cartoon is a thing I take almost as seriously as reading a book or a comic. Don't you know that these things I have mentioned, plus video games and like, sculptures and paintings--though of course a video game is made of sculptures and paintings, and a movie is many photographs and a sound recording of music and lyrics and lines like from a book--are the only god damn thing that makes all this other solid nonsense tolerable? The assholes and the wars and the massive human and terrestrial cost of carrying out the project of a civilzation?

Anyway. The movies. Watching this many movies and paying the kind of attention to them that I do is work, the most worthwhile kind of work there is. All movies were new to me unless marked with a "*". "$" will indicate ones I saw on the big screen. Finally, "%" symbol will show you the three I watched with other people; otherwise, I was by myself.

Schizopolis

Ernest Goes to Jail %

The Universal Theory $

Jack *

The Blob (1958)

Earwig and the Witch

Tales From Earthsea *

Darkman %

Godzilla King of Monsters

The Kid

Osaka Elegy

Beowulf

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest %*

Under the Volcano

Kinds of Kindness $

Yojimbo

Man Bites Dog

Joy

The Heroic Trio

It's Not Just You, Murray!

Only Yesterday

Also, documentaries:

Disciple: The Stevie Van Zandt Story

Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind

*

In addition, the odd new Craig of the Creek and the currently condensing drip of The Acolyte and House of the Dragon have taken up some brainspace. Also started fixing up my destroyed-ass office finally, been a wreck since April; as well as the usual doing of chores, gathering of materials for art, smoking, working, general decay.

Summer's good because you decay in comfort, and amidst great beauty. The world is always beautiful, but summer is easiest to exist in. Fall is best because it is also comfortable and the decay matches everything around you.

*

Ok peace

--JL

#448

Really fucking incredible. Alphabet and its people do belive the things they're saying, and language to the contrary is verboten on their platforms. Well, you know what? They're smart fucks. Maybe they're right and my perceived alarmism is harmful to the three whole people that have ever read this stupid blog, a risk to the glorious enterprise which will pull us from the brink.

Not going to generate further material about AI here. I don't give a fucking shit anymore. It is the balm which will heal every last one of our wounds, salve every grievance from the greatest to the least. Whatever. Yes. Cool. We go and go and we don't stop.

*

Happy post 448. I'll try to come back for real in a minute here. Been very busy, and also, whether to continue the blog has been a matter of internal debate lately and I'm still not sure. Turns out I did care about that content warning horseshit.

--JL