#289

Too many tabs open on two separate browsers. A sign of increasing hubris, which will almost certainly result in downfall and remorse.

As a safeguard against this dark future, for once in my life I am dedicating myself to making backups of all my work. Wow! Really hitting my stride, here, in the computer age. In addition, I have worked hard the last few days in smacking together new editions of my first two books, meaning all four of my books can soon be found on my author page! The first editions are still available on my old author page, but maybe amazon will take that down now? If a single organism from that company would ever deign to contact me, perhaps something concrete might be decided, but all my efforts result in ever only more screens with remotely applicable instructions at best, and perfect opacity the rest of the time. 

Been tapping away at work that I had presumed lost, and I've got the old notebooks out and have been transcribing analog work. This, combined with the work that (I pray) shall be salvaged from my wretched macbook, should mean fresh delights on the publishing front in due time. Finishing that last sliver of a percent of a book always seems to take me as much or more time than composing the entire rest of it, but process is process.

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Once I start getting paid for driving a school bus, I plan to start buying computer parts, that I may finally build a safe and stable computer which stands a chance of serving me as computers ideally ought. My bus driver training begins today, and at some point during this process I shall secure a commercial driver's license, which is fun. Air brakes! Gonna learn what those bad boys are all about.

Recycling center job didn't play out because they have no evening shifts. Oh well. Seemed cool, but I must admit, the building and area pretty much stank; like, smelled bad. Carried an odor. So the disappointment factor is pretty bearable. I'll keep a pin in it nonetheless. We may be moving soon, so perhaps an evening job nearer to the new neighborhood, which is in a different township, will be findable and suitable and workable and etc. Or perhaps it's for the best in general, since school bus driving may offer more hours than I currently perceive. Won't know till it's really happening and factual, after all. Finally, perhaps even at this stage, after all the background checks and drug tests and fingerprintings, the bus driver thing might somehow fall through, in which case I will certainly run back to the center and take that job instead.

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Read recently that optimists live longer and age better. People think I'm a pessimist, but that is only because I am devoted to realistic views; in my heart and soul I possess an incurable jouissance with an apparently immovable faith in the absolute perfection of the universe. Even if the world has already gone to hell, shit, and fuck, and nothing will protect me or anyone I love from a painful and functionally meaningless death, my feelings about it all remain hopeful. I think optimistic outlooks are stupid, but optimistic feelings are justified. No justifications for this beyond feeling that it is so. Guess I could point to some philosophy about it, but why bother? If you'd rather sit in your shitty diaper about how bad life is, fine. Savor the flavor, and apparently, die sooner. 

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Ok! Bus driver class pretty soon. Time to eat toast and shower.

Album Week 2022 wraps next post, but it may be awhile. It's serious business, this post I have chosen.

--JL