#230

February ends, and I am depressed. Glad that February is ending, always a difficult and gruesome month; glad that I am fortunate enough to be alive and healthy when death and disease seem to dominate our shared existence; glad to bear witness to these exceptionally interesting times, to have work to go to, love to live in, cats to feed, etc. The light of the world shines on me and I am thankful, and have happiness, yet am depressed, and stick to the shadows and the emptiest spaces whenever possible.

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depressed, depressed, we do our best, 

depressed, depressed, we take our tests, 

depressed, depressed, we get what we get and we get what we get 

and we try to take care of our love and our pets. 

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So shit ain't candy and fireworks all the time. Sometimes a dead squirrel faceup under a skeletal bush by the sidewalk is one thing, and sometimes it's another, speaking in terms of what the self tells itself about what it is experiencing, what symbols are drawn up and what conclusions are written in. Sometimes it's hard to have fun getting through any of the minutes and actions that make up a whole-ass day and night. 

Trite, yes, but sometimes how shitty you feel from smoking too many cigarettes is the only way you can feel and go on living at the same time.

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Best part of being depressed is the guilt it brings on. Indeed, how dare I even bring it up. Pointless.

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Let's see what March brings.

--JL

#229

This blog is often concerned with me, the author, at times by means of an honesty which makes my face contort. Part of the reason for the long hiatus was the desire for a measure of privacy from that. Also at play: the computer problems which perennially hinder me. A public health crisis. Chaos, triumph, madness, union, disintegration, survival, renewal, failure, transition after transition. 

Much has developed. Got a spouse and two cats now. 

How this came about--what I have been doing with my time, what has happened in my life--will be something I intend to parse out at no brisk pace. Frankly I intend to more adhere to the spirit of the masthead, and blather uselessly.

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Welp! Ready to tie a bow on this one. 

Peace & Love on the planet Earth

--JL

#228

Sure is plenty to be anxious and afraid about these days. I mean, there's no real need to be. But the salesmanship of it all! There is so much to gain by being as afraid as we can possibly be made to be, and it is has been made so easy. Fear is virtue and commodity, mass-produced, sold, and used to sell. Fear-based economies, fear-based social lives, fear-based sociopolitical discourse, fear-charged atmosphere and a 24/7 terror propaganda machine to keep us up-to-the-minute on the whole fuckin dirge. Lord, and how we pay handsomely for the privilege of helping them spread their charlatanery for free! Sheep can only make their own noise, but parrots can meme whatever memes their masters care to shove into their heads.

Things are bad, and a huge part of how bad things are is the histrionic flagellation about how bad things are constantly on every level of the broadcast. I picture a fox in a trap, who, rather than gnawing off the trapped limb, elects to beat its own brains out against a stone.

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Nothing ever changes the existential position. Everyone could die of some crazy shit at any second of every day of their lives, and eventually something gets 'em. That's just the game. All you can do is roll with the circumstances and watch your step. You don't have to let fear write the rules or own the whole situation. Own your own situation. Have some dignity.

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This really great cartoon called The Fungies came out and I watched the first season and it was radical. Loved every minute. Recently watched Adventure Time in one shot for the first time, plus the new specials that have been released so far. What can be said? Completely fucking gay for Adventure Time. Don't even listen to me about it. Also finally watched all of Steven Universe. Similar feelings.

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Watch as many cartoons as possible. It's the right thing to do, perhaps the last ethical thing in this lost and benighted world of ours.

ok peace

--JL

#227

Well! The year twenny-twenny will, I suppose, retain infamy for some time. 

Guaranteed, we will be seeing phrases to the effect of "then 2020/covid, and everything changed" for years, in articles, essays, stories, social media posts, advertisements...boys, we gonna prove that we know about twenty-twenty for the rest of our natural lives; so will a few of our direct descendants, and those who seek the new longevity, for however long it takes to work the year out of our system. 

Probably though I would hazard that deucetwenny will be one of those years that people learn about in history books. A lot more died last year than just people, and it seems very probable twentwent will be a cap year for a set of years that change the world dramatically.

Plus, the blog didn't update once! Among the great turbulences and mindquakes of that wild and crazy two thousand and twenty, year of, historians will not fail to note that Factually Pointless took its first gap year. 

Or, indeed, so much more crazy fucked-up shit could happen in the next fifty years that the drama of these upheavals will be barely thought about, and the blog will only be accessible as a direct mind-dump to individuals with illegally modified neural implants. Yeah, you gonna feel me think my contraband thoughts in real-time and my own brainprint, baby, and it's gonna be all intimate. Get ready.

Anyhow, it is no doubt easy to surmise that I was busy, as well as distracted, so for any number of reasons (some of which I will elaborate on in coming days), posting was unfeasible.

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Collapse is singularity and singularity is collapse. Nothing will ever be the same, and nothing is really that different. Truly it is the age of the paradox.

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Well, it's 2021 and time to start making posts again. I put out a brand new book on the last day of 2020. A collection of poems called Broken Arrow, Laudable Marauder. New author page, old books are not on it, but that will be remedied in due time. Meant to start bloggin away again in January, but I didn't! So what. Read my book.

Praise be that we should live to interpret days such as ours.

--JL